The Great Deception, Falling In Love.

Throughout history and in different cultures, the concepts of falling in love, loving and love have been interpreted in complex and profound ways.

Falling in love, this phenomenon is often seen as a temporary psychological condition that awakens intense and often irrational passions, generally related to physical and emotional attraction to another person. In its initial phase, falling in love can be compared to a disease of the soul or ego, because it can consume our mind and emotions, leading us to an idealization of the other person and sometimes even to the creation of a distorted version of reality. Falling in love is not always based on deep knowledge or genuine connection; rather, it is based on projections and desires. This state can lead to making impulsive decisions and acting more out of the desire for possession than the true well-being of both involved. Falling in love is an emotional and physical experience that can be impulsive and linked to the ego. Its nature is more reactive than active, and although it can evolve, it does not always do so in a healthy way.

The ego is a fundamental concept in various philosophies and psychologies, and refers to the part of the human psyche that is related to the feeling of individuality or personal identity. It can be understood as a mental construction that seeks to define who we are and how we perceive ourselves in relation to the world and others.

The ego is one of the three main parts of the human psyche according to Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytic theory. Together with the id (which represents primary and instinctive desires) and the superego (the moral and ethical part of the psyche), the ego acts as a mediator between these two extremes. The ego, in this sense, is the rational part that seeks the satisfaction of personal needs in a balanced way, considering the social and realistic restrictions of the environment. The ego adapts to reality and is responsible for practical decisions and maintaining our identity.

The ego is often thought of as a construct of the “self” that is rooted in identification with experiences, thoughts, and emotions. It is seen as a barrier between our essential self or pure consciousness and universal reality. In many spiritual traditions, such as Buddhism or Advaita Vedanta, the ego is seen as the illusion of separation, which makes us feel disconnected from everything else. It is the concept of individual “self” that leads us to believe that we are separate from the world, from others, and from everything.

The ego is what drives us to seek external approval, recognition, and validation. It is linked to our sense of self-worth, but when it becomes inflated or unbalanced, it can lead to self-centered, competitive, and egocentric behaviors, where the person identifies too much with the self and forgets their connection to others. This can manifest in arrogance, vanity, fear of failure, and a constant need for control.

The ego is the mental and emotional construct that defines our personal identity. Its function is useful in daily life to interact with the world, make decisions, and maintain a sense of internal coherence, but when it becomes too strong, it can lead to internal conflicts, illusions of separation, and a disconnection from who we really are on a deeper level. The work of many spiritual and self-knowledge practices is precisely to transcend the ego in order to connect with a more universal and authentic consciousness.

An ego-born infatuation can be understood as a type of attraction or relationship that is driven by the desires, fears, and needs of the ego, rather than a genuine love based on the deep connection between two people. In this context, the ego becomes the main driver behind the emotional experience, seeking validation, control, the fulfillment of personal desires, or the protection of its own image.

An ego-born infatuation is often based on an idealized view of the other person, projecting onto them our own expectations, desires, or unresolved needs. Instead of seeing the other human being with their virtues and flaws, the ego tends to create a distorted image, hoping that the other person will fill the emotional gaps or meet our expectations. This can make the relationship inauthentic, since what is loved is not the real person, but the projection of what we wish them to be.

In this type of infatuation, the person may be attracted to another in the hope of reinforcing their own sense of worth. The ego needs to feel loved, admired and appreciated, and looks to the relationship as a mirror that reflects its importance. The partner becomes an external source for validation and reinforcement of personal identity. This can generate emotional dependencies and a constant need for approval.

The ego, feeling that its identity is linked to the relationship, may deeply fear the loss of the other person. This fear can generate controlling, manipulative or possessive behaviors, since the relationship is not seen as a free loving exchange, but as a bet to maintain one's own emotional well-being. The partner may be idealized as a means to cling to emotional stability or a sense of security.

Ego-based infatuation can be marked by a desire to maintain a perfect image for others, or even for oneself. Sometimes people in these types of relationships present an idealized version of themselves, hiding authentic aspects of their personality or life, for fear of not being accepted. The ego prefers relationships that affirm it, rather than those that challenge it or push it to grow and transform.

A love that is born from the ego tends to be conditional: "I love you, but only if you do what I want," or "I love you only because you make me feel good." Instead of being an unconditional love that accepts the other as they are, the ego sets expectations and can break the relationship if those expectations are not met. It is a form of love that depends more on what the other person can provide in terms of personal satisfaction than on the authenticity of the bond.

The ego tends to see the relationship as a way to complete what is missing in oneself. If someone feels like they are lacking something (such as security, happiness, or validation), they may look to the idealized partner as the solution to fill that void.

However, this approach does not It fosters a relationship not of two whole people, but of individuals who depend on each other to feel complete.

An ego-born infatuation is more focused on what the other person can offer me to satisfy my emotional desires and needs, than on knowing and loving the other person in their entirety. It is a love that can be conditioned by fear, control, and idealization, and is rarely based on true connection, mutual acceptance, and shared growth. This type of infatuation can be very intense, but also fragile and prone to falling apart when ego expectations or projections are challenged.

Loving is closely related to the active practice of values. Loving involves a conscious act, a choice to be of service to the other, to recognize their humanity, and to contribute to that person's well-being. Loving, then, is not limited to an emotion; it becomes a set of daily actions, attitudes, and decisions that reflect respect, care, commitment, and empathy. In great ancient civilizations, such as Christianity or some Greek and Eastern philosophies, love was seen as a divine or transcendent act, associated with compassion and wisdom. For example, in Greek philosophy, Plato spoke of love as a search for the highest good, a love beyond physical desire, aimed at spiritual and moral perfection.

The verb to love is the conscious action of practicing virtues and values ​​such as respect, understanding and caring for others, and can imply a love that transcends temporary emotions.

Values ​​are principles, beliefs and norms that guide people's behavior and decisions. They are what we consider important and correct, and they play a fundamental role in how we relate to others and the world around us. Values ​​not only define us on a personal level, but also influence the way we interact with society and the type of community we build.

Broadly speaking, values ​​can be moral (such as honesty, justice, and compassion), cultural (such as respect for traditions and customs), personal (such as responsibility, gratitude, or perseverance), and social (such as teamwork and cooperation).

Values ​​are a kind of "moral compass" that helps us make decisions and prioritize what really matters.

Values ​​are the foundation of who we are. They help us define our identity, our goals, and the purpose of our life. If we live according to our values, we experience a sense of authenticity and fulfillment, because our actions reflect what we truly believe and want to be. Without clear values, people can feel lost or empty, as they do not have a solid foundation on which to build their lives.

Values ​​are essential for social coexistence. Cooperation, mutual respect, and empathy, among others, are values ​​that allow people to live together peacefully and constructively. Without them, societies would be chaotic and disorderly, as people would act solely according to their personal interests without considering the common good.

Values ​​teach us to respect laws, treat others with dignity, and contribute to the common good.

Every time we face a decision, our values ​​act as an internal guide. They help us make decisions in conflict situations, determine what is right or fair, and deal with ethical challenges. When values ​​are strong, decision-making becomes clearer and more consistent, reducing uncertainty and stress in everyday life.

Living by one's values ​​builds a sense of personal integrity. When we act according to what we believe is right, we experience less internal dissonance or conflict between what we think and what we do, leading us to feel more at peace with ourselves. Contradiction between internal values ​​and actions can cause emotional distress, while alignment of the two promotes satisfaction and well-being.

Values ​​are key to establishing relationships of trust and respect. People who share similar values ​​often have a greater understanding of each other, making it easier to build strong, healthy bonds. Honesty, loyalty, love and generosity are values ​​that make it possible for personal, family or work relationships to thrive.

Values ​​are also essential for personal growth. By living according to principles that promote kindness, justice or perseverance, people are constantly evolving, learning to be better human beings. Values ​​invite us to be more aware of our actions and to make decisions that reflect the best in ourselves.

On a collective level, values ​​have the power to transform the world. When large groups of people are governed by values ​​such as solidarity, peace and equity, they can generate significant changes in society and the world at large. Human values ​​are the basis of social movements, advances in human rights and progress towards a more just and balanced society.

Values ​​are fundamental because they give meaning to our lives. They help us make decisions, interact with others in a meaningful way, maintain inner peace and contribute to collective well-being. Without solid values, life would be chaotic, empty of purpose and difficult to navigate. They are the foundation on which a full, ethical and harmonious existence is built.

The verb to love, in its deepest and most authentic form, can be understood as the active and constant practice of the values ​​that shape our life, our ethics and our relationships. To love, in this sense, is not limited to a passive feeling, but is a disciplined and committed action of living according to the principles that we consider correct, fair and compassionate. To love is not only an act of affection towards those who are close to us, but an attitude towards everything that surrounds us, from nature to human beings, animals and even those with whom we do not share close ties.

When we talk about loving as a practice of life values, we are suggesting that loving is a daily commitment to ethics and the well-being of all living beings. It is an act of discipline, in which each of our thoughts, words and actions is aligned with principles that favor harmony, respect, compassion and justice.

True love, then, is a reflection of the practical application of these values:

1. Loving Nature: It involves acting responsibly with the environment, respecting natural resources and promoting sustainability. Loving the Earth is being aware of our daily actions, reducing our ecological footprint and contributing to natural balance.
   
   
2. Loving animals: It means treating them with respect and dignity, recognizing their rights and protecting their well-being. The values ​​of compassion, empathy and non-violence towards animals are an extension of love towards all forms of life.
   
   
3. Loving human beings: It involves practicing empathy, respect and cooperation. Loving others, even those with whom we do not share a close relationship, means acting with generosity and altruism, without expecting something in return. It is seeing in each person a reflection of our humanity and recognizing their dignity.
   
   
4. Loving what is far away: This type of love is not only directed toward what is close to us, but also extends toward global causes, such as peace, human rights, and social justice. Practicing the values ​​of solidarity, equality, and justice involves caring about the well-being of people far away, whether in different countries or cultures.

It is entirely possible to love without receiving love in return because genuine love is not conditional or dependent on what we receive, but on what we give. True love does not seek retribution. It is not about exchanging affections or expecting something in return. Loving is a selfless act that comes from our essence and extends to all beings, regardless of whether they return that love to us. It is a gift that we give without expecting a reward. Loving is a decision that we make daily.

Sometimes we love people who don't love us back, either because of a lack of interest or other factors. However, the love we practice is an expression of what we value and believe is important, beyond reciprocity. This form of loving is free and not determined by the emotions or behaviors of others. Loving without being loved implies recognizing that love does not depend on the other being perfect, or acting the way we expect. We love despite human imperfections, differences, and disagreements. This type of love is unconditional, accepting the other as they are, even if we are not loved back on the same level. Even when we are not loved back, the act of loving has a transformative power in our own lives. It helps us grow as people, cultivating virtues such as patience, resilience, generosity, and compassion. Furthermore, genuine love has the potential to inspire and change others, even if it does not always manifest itself immediately. When we love without expecting to be loved in return, we connect with the universal energy of love, which transcends ego and expectations. This love is not limited to the individual, but is a way of being part of something bigger, a flow that goes beyond the relationship with a single person or group. It is a love that is offered to the world in its entirety, without barriers or conditions.

The verb to love is much more than a feeling: it is the disciplined action of putting into practice the fundamental values ​​of respect, compassion and justice, not only towards ourselves and those close to us, but towards all living beings. And yes, it is possible to love without being loved because genuine love does not seek to receive, but rather is given from the depths of our being, without expecting anything in return, trusting that the simple act of loving is already a form of transcendence and personal fulfillment.

While the verb to love is the action that implies will and practice, Love in its most sublime form has been interpreted by many civilizations as a divine, universal force, encompassing all forms of life, the connection with the divine and with everything that exists. In ancient Greece, the highest love, Agape, referred to an unconditional, transcendental love, which did not depend on reciprocity, but emanated from the human being's awareness of his connection with the universe and divinity. In monotheistic religions, love is conceived as the very essence of God: a love that knows no limits, that is offered without expecting anything in return, that is eternal and selfless.

Love in its highest form is seen as a divine or universal force that connects all beings and manifests itself in acceptance, compassion and deep connection, beyond any personal interest.

The conception of God as Love has been a central idea in many religions and philosophies throughout history, especially in Christianity, where God is seen as the origin and essence of pure and unconditional love. However, with the passage of time, and particularly in the evolution of modern thought, the idea of ​​love began to be reduced to something more limited and, in many cases, to an ephemeral feeling, associated only with intense and transitory emotional experiences.

In the Renaissance (14th to 16th centuries), there was a renewal of interest in the human being and his capabilities. Humanist thought began to place a strong emphasis on reason, individuality, and personal freedom. During this time, love began to be considered more from a human and emotional perspective, rather than as a divine principle. Love came to be seen more as a subjective experience than as a transcendental virtue.

As science and rationalism developed during the 17th and 18th centuries, especially with figures such as Descartes or Newton, there was a growing separation between the spiritual sphere (the divine) and the material sphere (the physical and the emotional). This influenced the way in which Western societies understood love. If love had previously been thought of as something divine and transcendent, it was now beginning to be perceived more as an ephemeral emotion linked to human psychology.

The Romantic movement was key in consolidating the vision of love as an intense, but fleeting feeling. In the poetry, literature, and art of that time, love was represented as something idealized and passionate, but also transitory and often painful. The love stories of the Romantics often portrayed relationships that, while intensely deep, ended tragically, contributing to the perception that love was ephemeral.

With the rise of individualism in the modern era, human emotions, including love, began to be perceived primarily as personal and private experiences. The idea of ​​love as a universal or divine principle was replaced by the notion that love was something that was felt and that it varied from person to person, depending on their circumstances, desires, and emotions. This shift in focus from the collective to the individual diminished the perception of love as something eternal and turned it into a more temporary and personal experience.

In the 20th century, psychoanalysis and psychological theories began to understand love from a more psychological and biological perspective. It was associated with chemical and emotional processes in the brain, and was often seen as a response to unconscious needs or desires. Along these lines, love began to be described as an emotional response linked to brain chemistry or learned patterns of behavior, which made it seem more like something ephemeral and not something transcendental.

With the expansion of mass media and consumer culture, love became promoted as something marketable. Romantic movies, advertising, and social media often portray love in a superficial way, emphasizing its emotional and exciting aspects, but without delving into its spiritual or transcendental aspects. This commercialization contributed to the idea that love is a fleeting sensation, something that is sought but difficult to maintain in the long term.

The contrast between love as an ephemeral feeling and love as God

● In many religious traditions, love is understood as an eternal and divine principle. In Christianity, for example, God is described as love itself (1 John 4:8: “God is love”). This love is unconditional, eternal, and not dependent on circumstances. It is not ephemeral or transitory; it is the principle that underpins all of creation.

● In spiritual philosophy, especially in mystical traditions, love is seen as a path to unity with the divine, a universal force that transcends temporary human emotions. This love is a constant and pure energy, beyond the fluctuations of the ego and human passions.

● In contrast, the modern view of love as an ephemeral feeling has been more influenced by a materialistic and individualistic view of life, where love is experienced through personal sensations and changing emotions. Although this does not mean that genuine and deep love does not exist in human experience, this perspective has contributed to making love seen more as something transient, conditioned by circumstances and emotions.

The spread of the idea of ​​love as an ephemeral feeling originated over time, driven by changes in philosophy, science, culture and social norms. The Revolution of rational thought and individualism made love increasingly understood as something personal and temporary, separated from divinity and transcendence. However, love as a divine and eternal principle remains a profound and transformative, offering a connection with the divine and a solid foundation for compassion and universal unity.

On this day when we celebrate Love, I invite you to go beyond the superficial, beyond the illusion of falling in love and the Ego that tells us that we only love when we are loved in return. True Love is much more than an ephemeral feeling; it is a profound practice of respect, empathy and wisdom that is born from the purest part of our being.

Today, more than ever, it is time to love from the depth of our principles, those values ​​that unite us to nature, to the living beings that surround us and, above all, to our own essence. When love arises from that true connection, the Ego dissolves and what remains is the magic of Love: a transformative and healing force, capable of elevating our consciousness and keeping us in the here and now.

May this February 14th inspire us to love without expectations, to practice true love: the kind that is not limited to an instant or a relationship, but flows into everything we touch, see and feel. Loving is an act of life, it is the wisdom of being, the deep understanding that everything we are and do is interconnected.

By eliminating from our hearts all traces of false infatuation, we open ourselves to a greater, purer love that transcends any barrier. A love that makes us free, that unites us in harmony and that has the power to protect our conscience and wisdom.

May the magic of true Love illuminate this day and each of the days of our lives. May this love transform us and remind us that we are one with everything that exists.

With all our love and gratitude for being part of this beautiful town, at Vallarta Today we embrace you with our soul on this day of Love!